March 21, 2024

 

If you are comparing yourself to others, you have already lost. You have lost your greatest areas of influence, control and power.

 

When we compare ourselves to others, we falsely assume that their journey should be our journey, their strengths should be our strengths, and their life should be our life.

 

This coveting is dangerous! It robs us of our accomplishments, progress, purpose and gifts.

 

It distracts us from our possibilities, potential and promise.

 

It veils our gains.

 

It places a bushel over our light.

 

Similarly, when we compare others to stereotypes, we rob them of their humanity, individuality and identity.

 

When we root our perception of others in bias, whether implicit or explicit, misconceptions and stereotypes, we rob ourselves of, and possibly the world of, the benefits of their talents.

 

In our relegating, we relegate or reduce our return to the lowest denomination of our fears.

 

If you find yourself asking these questions, you have an opportunity to explore:

 

-Why is he or she always doing that or too much?

 

-Who does he or she think he or she is?

 

-Why is everyone always praising him or her?

 

If we find ourselves asking these questions, we should pause and ensure that we are not really asking:

 

-Why don’t I have the courage to do that? 

 

-Why aren’t I taking the chance?

 

-Why don’t I believe in myself more? 

 

-Why aren’t I betting on me?

 

-Why am I feeling undeserving?

 

-Why am I feeling insecure?

 

If we don’t do this vital work, we fall prey to self-sabotage and destructive coping mechanisms like:

 

-projection 

 

-gaslighting 

 

-manipulation 

 

-lies

 

We also reinforce our fears and contribute to our feelings of unworthiness.

 

Moreover, we victimize others by trying to confine them to narratives that distract from our work.

 

Rather than doing the work of developing self-esteem, setting and maintaining boundaries, and advocating for ourselves, we will vilify others having boundaries, standing up for themselves and celebrating their wins.

 

This is counterproductive, and destructive to ourselves and others!

 

This year, and every day after, I will not covet and I will not fall prey to someone else’s covetous actions. I will honor, celebrate and embrace my journey while I empower others to do the same.

 

In 2024, go live your life and welcome me living mine!

 

Happy 2024!