Winnowing to Win
April 27, 2024
Today, I am mindful of the principle of winnowing. Winnowing is the process of separating wheat from chaff. Just as people who hope to reap a harvest separate the wheat from the chaff, we must separate our worth, wins and lessons from our pain, shame and past.
It is only when we separate our identity, gifts and learning from other people’s choices, perceptions and agendas that we realize our potential.
For many years, I was emotionally entangled in other people’s shame, choices and fears. So much so that their shame became my shame. Even more troubling, I allowed their shame to make me feel ashamed of myself, my upbringing and conditions.
It is critical for us to root shame out out of our lives. If we don’t, we fall victim to bias, stereotypes, trauma and any number of counterproductive experiences. Each of these things can become weights that are crushing!
As a result of separating the emotional wheat and chaff in my life, I am no longer compelled to:
-live down to other people’s stereotypes and misconceptions. I can be hurt by them but I am now able to rebound because I realize that’s their issue.
-keep apologizing for myself, others, or someone’s unwillingness to change. I’m no longer owning the things and people I cannot change. I’m managing their impact on me by choosing how I think, feel, see and do.
-accept the labels that have constrained me. I am no one’s victim, second choice, mistake, or secret. I am a gift to those who understand and recognize my gifting. First and foremost, I am enough!
As you consider the opportunities to separate the wheat from the chaff, consider these opportunities:
-Have you divorced or ended a relationship? If so, have you taken time to separate the gift of loving from the pain of ending? Have you considered the gifts that resulted along the way like children or learning more about yourself?
-Have you lost or left a job? If so, have you separated the experience, skill sets and competencies developed and networking from the ending of the job or tenure?
-Were you raised without a parent or parents? If so, have separated their physical or emotional absence from the traits, characteristics, gifts and strengths they did pass on through their DNA? Have you taken the time to notice them so you can use them effectively?
-Have you lost a loved one? If so, have you taken the time to separate their leaving from the gift of their living? Are you actively savoring, honoring and celebrating the time you did have with them?
Each of these instances are opportunities to separate the emotional wheat from the chaff.
As the year progresses, I encourage you to position yourself for success by attending to the harvest! Ask yourself how you can harvest the gift of every experience by letting go the things that no longer serve you!
Happy 2024!